I Like Myself Better When I Flirt

Hitting on my coworker forces me to be more self confident, and I like it.

I hear talk of twenty-somethings fresh out of college, ready to take on the world, thinking they know everything. And whenever I hear this I get jealous that I never felt that way. It seems like such a luxury to be in a state of mind that allows you to believe you can take on the world.

Just this week I was wondering if I chose the right masters program. Am I making a practical decision for my future? For my career? Is my current degree a step in the right direction? What direction is that? And so on and so forth.

Now getting back to flirting… when I am flirting with someone I have to put my best foot forward. I have to be witty and charming, intelligent and put together. And since the initial stages of any serious flirtation are built on getting to know arbitrary facts about a person,  I have to exhibit mine proudly. I must say with utter conviction that yes I do eat crustaceans, and no I do not advocate white pants before or after Labor Day.

And as it turns out, these arbitrary facts and other attempts to get to know a stranger is helping me get to know myself. I answer proudly when asked my opinion on public radio, but in actuality I had never verbalized the answer to myself before. There is no room for self doubt on the highway to a potentially meaningful relationship. There is no rest-stop for the confused and misguided when the connection with a soul mate is at stake.

So is this coworker my soul mate? The hell if I know! The exchanging of all of these arbitrary facts has only confirmed that we both like John Candy movies and peanut M&M’s. But the results of all of this questioning, all of this flirting, makes me say yes I can take on the world. Yes I am making the right decisions in life. And yes I will have a cupcake, thank you for asking.

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