Damn You Facebook For Making Me Feel This Way

August 11, 2010 § Leave a comment

For about the last year and a half my Facebook feed has been monopolized by engagement notices, wedding pictures, and disturbing 4-D ultrasound images. And these relentless updates have made me a bitter and condescending person. Thoughts like this keep entering my mind:

Really Tiff, engaged already? How long have you two been dating? 3, or is it 4 months now? You’re probably knocked-up, but shotgun wedding or not I bet this won’t last more than 2 years.

Yes, I can be that big of a jerk. Don’t deny it, everyone lets their prejudice underbellies shine through when it comes to the safety of our computer screens. The beauty with this form of social media is that it gives anyone with an email address the paint needed to graffiti the internet, and my generation seems to have no filter.

But Tiff is not to blame, I am sure her first marriage will be wonderful! I should be pointing the finger of blame at myself and facebook for making this possible. My feelings are completely torn when it comes to pictures of drunken wedding receptions and ugly babies. On the one hand, I find myself glad I am not there. I am happy to be independent and free. I am happy I am not one step closer to becoming a boring married couple or a parent that never gets a social life outside of the carpool lane. I’ve got years to get there, why jump the gun?

But on the other hand, I am jealous. Not of the rushed weddings and child conceiving, but of the milestones. Undoubtedly, everyone has those dull days or weeks when work and life seem a little lackluster. And it is always during those times that I find myself wishing something big would happen. Something I could deem worthy of sharing with all of my Facebook friends. Kind of pathetic, I know.

Unfortunately summer is thick with weddings and I can’t find a happy medium. And so the pendulum swings from happy to condescending, back to  independent, and again to bitter. The obvious solution of course is to stay off the social networks, but tell a smoker to put down the pack and you’ll know why that’s not going to be happening. Damn you Facebook for making me feel this way.

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